Thursday 8 September 2011

Laid out

I went to choose a new bed today.
I made every mistake in the book.

I lay decorously on my back clutching my bag.

When I tried to act natural,
I was upbraided by an assistant
for not putting my feet on the protective strip.

I had gone without my husband.
My shopping was apparently not 
an adequate substitute for his manly frame 
and I was told to come back with him in person.

Already too tired when I arrived at the shop,
I could have been eased into the arms of Morpheus
laid out on a cold marble slab.


  1. Oh bless you, you poor thing. Imagine being told off by a shop assistant! You'll just have to go back with your husband and make sure that you stay in the background, this is obviously men's work. Good luck.

  2. What a wonderful post! I just love the photos and as for the shopkeeper, that's no way to get a sale!

  3. I am cringing at the thought of it all........ such a scary thing to do, bed buying and the lying down on one in public. Loving the details in the photos that match your text so beautifully.

  4. I have looked very closely at the second photo, and I suspect she does not have her feet on the protective strip either, so there is a historical precedent for your wanton disobedience.

  5. Have you considered a somewhat softer version?

  6. Or you could just ask me. We've done so much bed research we need to share it with someone.