Thursday, 8 September 2011

Laid out

I went to choose a new bed today.
I made every mistake in the book.

I lay decorously on my back clutching my bag.

When I tried to act natural,
I was upbraided by an assistant
for not putting my feet on the protective strip.

I had gone without my husband.
My shopping was apparently not 
an adequate substitute for his manly frame 
and I was told to come back with him in person.

Already too tired when I arrived at the shop,
I could have been eased into the arms of Morpheus
laid out on a cold marble slab.


  1. Oh bless you, you poor thing. Imagine being told off by a shop assistant! You'll just have to go back with your husband and make sure that you stay in the background, this is obviously men's work. Good luck.

  2. You made me laugh Lucille. Such clever juxtaposition of pictures and words.

  3. What a wonderful post! I just love the photos and as for the shopkeeper, that's no way to get a sale!

  4. I am cringing at the thought of it all........ such a scary thing to do, bed buying and the lying down on one in public. Loving the details in the photos that match your text so beautifully.

  5. I have looked very closely at the second photo, and I suspect she does not have her feet on the protective strip either, so there is a historical precedent for your wanton disobedience.

  6. Have you considered a somewhat softer version?

  7. Or you could just ask me. We've done so much bed research we need to share it with someone.