Laid out

I went to choose a new bed today.

I made every mistake in the book.

I lay decorously on my back clutching my bag.

When I tried to act natural,

I was upbraided by an assistant

for not putting my feet on the protective strip.

I had gone without my husband.

My shopping was apparently not 

an adequate substitute for his manly frame 

and I was told to come back with him in person.

Already too tired when I arrived at the shop,

I could have been eased into the arms of Morpheus
laid out on a cold marble slab.