Sunday 17 September 2017

Delete. Delete. Delete.

If anyone wondered where I was,
I have been Kondoing my Inbox.
I had to because my computer said it was full
and could neither absorb nor discharge any further information.

I understood how it felt.

There were 8835 messages there going back eight years.
Of course there must have been many more.
I certainly do delete as I go, but for some reason
these had resisted the routine culling.

It was, and is, a sobering experience. 
All life is there,
from the mundane to the momentous.
There is no easy way to approach this task.
I cannot risk taking out the box wholesale.
I have found some vital documents and some useful contacts.
I have been reminded of happy times and sad.

The computer has dropped a couple of dress sizes
and is feeling more comfortable, but I must press on.
We're aiming for a size 8.
People send funnies, and each of these links was opened and examined.
Mercifully many of them had expired.
Here are a couple that were brought blinking into the spotlight.
You'll notice a common theme:

 Retiree Bathtub Test

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, 
"How do you determine
whether or not a retiree should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, 
then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the retiree 
and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket
 because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No", he said. "A normal person would pull the plug out.
Do you want a bed near the window?"


If it goes quiet again, you'll know where to find me.

Also - 32,544 photos.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

Saturday 2 September 2017

Wot! No haywain?*

Overheard one disgruntled visitor saying,
'Isn't there supposed to be a cart there?'.

This was an interesting programme about a possible lost Constable painting
 from the BBC1 Fake or Fortune series.

* See Mr Chad