Sunday 13 February 2011

The Bill

I was just getting one of Nigel Slater's double ginger cakes 
out of the oven when 
there was a sharp rapping at my front door.

A neighbour, I was told, had called the police 
because she saw two men in the garden
on the other side of the fence
'who shouldn't be there'.

Radio crackling he hot-footed out to my garden
and peered over the fence.
I saw snowdrops and crocuses
where once there were brambles.

A police helicopter arrived and
wheeled in tight circles overhead.

Dog handlers raced up the alleyway.

Then suddenly, the show was over.
Apparently everything was just fine.
The men who shouldn't be there,
 live in the house.
I doubt that they were gardening
and there may be more to this than meets the eye
but I wasn't being told.
I was complemented on my hall wallpaper.
They apologised for the mud on 
the newly-washed floor and departed.

The cake had cooled,
so I cut myself a slice 
and had it with a nice cup of tea.


  1. You certainly have some interesting diversions in your day ...

  2. Police, dogs, helicopters? For a couple of men in the garden?
    Good grief! Perhaps you are the suburban annex of MI6..