If you've been listening to The Archers
for as long as I have
the signposts were in dayglo yellow
and had people shouting through loudhailers beneath them.
Glorious review for his Dame in the panto?
Touching gift of Mummy's brooch?
A banner on the roof?
'I'll just have to climb a little higher'?
But maybe, just maybe,
they have a cunning plan.
I'm going to have to check the map of Ambridge
but could he have fallen into the treetop walkway?
You heard it here first.