Losing weight

The house. Not me.

I reckon it needs to lose about 2 lbs per week

for about five years

or it's never going to be slim enough

to downsize.

Slow but sure is the way.

A bag here and a bag there,

that old mirror, that jug, that bowl,

down to the charity shop,

little and often,

that's the modest goal.

But there will be sticking points,

plateaux reached,

avoirdupois impossible to lose,

infant works of art, boxes of letters,

the rocking horse - dear Banner -

the grand piano. 

Our house wears the equivalent of magic knickers,

everything is very compactly,

stashed away.

But once released from tight cupboards and tiny drawers,

(no pun intended),

the overspill will be an ugly 

and depressing sight.

And I have to confess to a slight 

loosening of the stays

at the weekend, a small weight gain.

But I'll make up for it,

I'm back in control.

A sacrifice is called for,

I've my eye on the ball.

It's time to blow the whistle

on the beautiful game.

The diet can take the blame.