I am known in these parts
as a highly risk-averse person,
so when I spotted these magnificent specimens
I did not immediately think,
'Yum, mushrooms on toast.'
In fact the aptly named Parasol mushrooms
would have been quite safe to eat.
But later, I found some mushrooms in a field
looking so much like mushrooms in a supermarket
that emboldened by my survival of the last experiment
I brought them home.
And ate them.
This little garning of crab apples
was insufficient for the purposes of preserving
sitting on a shelf groaning under the weight
of all the other unopened jars of
chutney, jam and marmalade.
I'll be alright for mincemeat too,
so if anyone sees me assembling the dried fruits
and sterilising jam jars,
please put out a gentle restraining hand.