Garnering

I am known in these parts

as a highly risk-averse person,

so when I spotted these magnificent specimens

I did not immediately think, 

'Yum, mushrooms on toast.'

In fact the aptly named Parasol mushrooms 

would have been quite safe to eat.

But later, I found some mushrooms in a field

looking so much like mushrooms in a supermarket

that emboldened by my survival of the last experiment
in 2010

I brought them home.

And ate them.

This little garning of crab apples

was insufficient for the purposes of preserving

but luckily I still have this jar from 2011

sitting on a shelf groaning under the weight 

of all the other unopened jars of

chutney, jam and marmalade.

I'll be alright for mincemeat too,

so if anyone sees me assembling the dried fruits

and sterilising jam jars,

please put out a gentle restraining hand.