The swing seat

'Wouldn't it be nice,' I said 

'to have a little swing seat in the garden this summer.'

So I ordered one online from a well known department store

 and booked a delivery date.

'Wait in from 7a.m until 2 p.m,' they said.

 It didn't come.

'We can't find it,' they said.

'It was sent from the warehouse but hasn't arrived at the depot. 

They've washed their hands of it. It happens all the time,' 

said one of the many customer services staff I hung on for while trying to trace it.

'It might arrive on Saturday if it's on a later trailer. Fingers crossed.

I've accelerated it for you.'

It didn't come.

'It should be here on Wednesday. Wait in from 2 p.m until 9 p.m.

We'll give you a 'financial apology' if you don't cancel it.'

I didn't cancel.

It came.

'It will take 55 minutes for two people to assemble it,' 

said the 10 page instruction booklet.

The diagrams were imprecise, 

but we're used to self assembly and stayed calm 

even when we had to disassemble the main frame.

It took 4 hours.

Here it is.

Every strut, bar, connector, rail, arm, leg, stretcher, support, panel, pole, bolt, screw, bracket, washer, nut, barrel nut, bolt nut, locker, hanging post, hook -

140 components in all,

wrestled and manipulated into position by our own poor ravaged hands.

Would anyone like to hazard a guess as to the weather forecast for the weekend?