Friday, 16 January 2015

Hell for leather


What with one thing and another
I completely forgot to have a mid-life crisis*.

I'm making a start on one now before it's too late.

There was a ridiculously beautiful supple leather 
biker jacket on sale in Sainsbury's today.
(My boutique of choice.)
I've never owned a leather jacket.
I stuffed it in my trolley with the butternut squash.

The woman at the checkout held it aloft and kept telling me
(and all the interested people in the queue), 
how much it cost, as if to give me a chance 
to come to my senses.
I gave her my stoniest stare.
Then she asked if I had tried it on.
I said no.
She asked, did I think it would fit?
I chickened out.
I told her it was for someone else.
She asked if it would fit them.
I said I hoped so, through gritted teeth.
Then she asked if it was cheap for a leather jacket.
I said I'd never bought one before.
She said, make sure you keep the receipt.

Then as if the Universe was quite determined 
to make me see the folly of my purchase
the alarm went off as I tried to exit.
The security guard took me to one side.
He took the jacket out of the bag
She hadn't taken off the tag.
I produced the receipt.
It was there between rice noodles and gingernuts.

He took it back to the till and waved it around a bit more
for everyone to see.

Then he brought it back and smiled.
It's a nice jacket he said.

Somehow, it had lost some of its allure.





*The expression was coined in 1965 and analysis showed 
it could start anytime between 40 and 60
but it is thought to start much earlier now,
which is odd when you think of our increased life expectancy.






36 comments:

  1. I'm dying to know how much it was.

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    Replies
    1. As it's you. It was £90. Very similar jackets at John Lewis £199, Oasis £158, Mango £140 and Whistles £325.

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    2. That's a bargain for a leather jacket and I think you are fab for buying it.

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  2. Lucile, a few years ago, when I was already well into my 60s, I got a motorcycle jacket. It is not leather, but rather a waxed cotton. I found it fun to wear, and think I encouraged some other women of my generation to buy one, too. (Now way back in the 1960s, I did ride behind my boyfriend on a 750 Norton bike that I'd helped him buy. Lived to tell the story.

    Having told those tales, I will ask if you will be showing us a photo of you in your jacket.

    xo

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    Replies
    1. Was it a Bellstaff jacket Frances? Not sure about the selfie. I may have to work on the rest of the outfit first.

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    2. Not Bellstaff, but one of my employer's brand. I will email you with more details.

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  3. Never too late to have one and you're never too old for a great little leather jacket, it's gorgeous.

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  4. Ha! I love your sense of humour Lucille. This did make me chuckle. So - we're going for Rock Chick are we? I love that you were too busy to have a mid-life crisis. Hope you think all the embarrassment at the till was worth it. I bet it looks fabulous on you.

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  5. Wow! It's beautiful! I'm sure it fits perfectly! Go you --

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  6. Gosh, I think that was a real bargain! Much better for the soul to spend 90quid on that than Sainsbury's basics! Wear it with joy!! Penny L in Dorsetx

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  7. Oh, I'm creasing myself laughing. I can see it all now. This was so funny I've even read it aloud to husband, sitting next to me at his computer (we have large old-fashioned PCs, I'd hate a lap-top because I'm a touch-typist, the last of a dying breed, taught to type without having to look at the keys.) I love the biker jacket. I've never had a leather jacket either. Now I want that one! I shall have a look in Sainsbury's, your boutique of choice!
    Margaret P

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  8. PS: At £90 I will pop in there tomorrow ... well worth it for leather! While I detest leather furniture (or as I refer to them "cows in the sitting room", I love leather shoes, bags and jackets!
    Margaret P

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  9. The jacket is beautifully cut, and you were 100 per cent right to buy it, but surely a blogger would bake her own gingernuts rather than buying them, unless, of course, they are to be crushed for a base.

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    Replies
    1. You are nearly right of course. Crushed for a topping to a delicious pudding made from a tin of condensed milk, some double cream and the zest and juice of a lemon. Health giving and nutritious.

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    2. Exactly ! Nutritious ... full of vitamin C.

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  10. For some odd reason I find great comfort in the fact that you have purchased a biker's jacket.

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  11. "Get your motor runnin'...... Head out on the highway............."

    Looks a great jacket and what a bargain!

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  12. I love it .
    I wonder what the cashier wears to go home in and how much she spent on it ? You should have asked her .

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  13. Brilliant post Lucille. Life is short. Wear the jacket! Buy the bike!

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  14. Can't help thinking what I'd wear with a biker jacket. Hmm. Long floaty skirt/cropped jumper/ankle boots? What are you thinking?

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  15. Lucille, that is a gorgeous jacket. I didn't know you could buy leather in Sainsburys. And such a reasonable price for what it is. I'm so pleased you stuck to your guns and bought it.

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  16. We were out this morning, for breakfast, and then a walk along the sea front and I totally forgot I meant to go to Sainsbury's to check out this biker's leather jacket! Another senior moment! By the time I get there they'll say, "Biker's jackets? Oh, we had those in ... they've all gone now, of course!"
    Margaret P

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  17. I used to have a biker's leather jacket when I had my motorbikes but it was turquoise, not black; I gave it to my daughter when I sold my last bike and she bought hers. I am certain that yours will look marvellous on you - selfie, yes?

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    Replies
    1. I do wish you had a blog.

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    2. But I have nothing to write about!

      Thank you both though. xx

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  18. Lucille, we can now blame you for every Sainsbury's store having sold out of leather jackets by the time we get there tomorrow......

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  19. O to live somewhere where a beautiful leather jacket can be bought with one's shopping!!!

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  20. I'm envious. If only I had the style to carry it off ... bet you'll look terrific. Now, accessories. A Harley?

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  21. I keep thinking of this image (http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/21/article-2585830-1C5C803000000578-179_634x419.jpg) and wondering if you're one for the sidecar or the bike?

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    Replies
    1. I'm too much of a cissy for the bike or sidecar part of the jacket. Clarissa DW covered in game must be your idea of a nightmare.Just the jacket must be bad enough. I don't suppose you own anything made of leather.

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    2. That's right, Lucille, no leather for me! The hardest items to get leather-substitute are office shoes with any degree of water-proofing.

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  22. My son has a gorgeous black leather jacket much like this one. One night, in a club, a Scottish guy tried to take it off him in order to steal it. My son had to go to some lengths to keep his jacket.
    Your adventures in buying your jacket show that such a jacket, at least in your area of the world, is seen as a rebel's purchase. You have joined the ranks of James Dean, my son, and such. Go you! (Do mid-life crises happen to women? I thought it was a man's thing.)

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  23. You will rock this jacket for sure, Lucille, and I join the clamor for your selfie!

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  24. Cool. Even on a hanger, that jacket's got attitude.

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